"It's not a baby... it's just tissue." The words came from an emergency ultrasound tech and hit me straight in the gut. I was already crying when this gem of medical advice left his mouth.
I wanted to throw up. Or scream. Or throw something at him.
But I was too shocked, too weak, and too defeated to do anything.
As the days went by I just got mad. How dare he sit there with an ultrasound wand crammed deep into my lady parts and tell me that my baby isn't a baby? How dare he say this when he knew I was miscarrying, when I was crying?
And I've come to know that he just didn't know any better... and that to him... he was helping me feel better. I wouldn't be crying if it were just tissue, right?
That's the moment that convinced me that our healthcare staffs need to be educated on miscarriage, miscarriage grief, and how to support women going through a miscarriage or pregnancy loss.
I know that people mean well, and when they know better, they do better.
Educating healthcare practitioners about the grief and loss from miscarriage and stillbirth is incredibly important. What is something someone said to you after a loss?